Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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