Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
