9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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