Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he just fucked me for my cheese..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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