so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
