Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
