i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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