just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just made out with a guy for $7.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
