Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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