By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
