i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
