:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize