Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
