fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
