I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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