She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize