garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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