Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
