my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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