Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize