My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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