Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
