dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
