Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
