I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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