I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
