You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
