I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
