Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
