Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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