Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
