This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
