i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
