I need help removing her.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
