Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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