omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
