I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
