i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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