can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize