all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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