I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
