Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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