She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
