they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
