i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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