he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
