if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize