my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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