Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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