I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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