I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
