were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
