He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
