I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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