the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
