i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
