I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
