Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
