She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
God, I missed his penis.
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