He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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