it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
