Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize