her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
